Gap of Stillness

There is a gap between the trees
That fills with light
Each day
As I walk my girls on familiar path, through the forest
Like an open window
Nestled above a bench, facing the stream
Where I used to stop and sit
Each day
No matter the season
Through trees bearing leaves,
And branches turn barren
I would sit in communion with the light shining through.

For many months I couldn't,
Or wouldn't
Stop to sit
I felt the light come through as I walked on by
Like an old friend reaching down
Tapping my shoulder,
Asking me to stay a while
"No time to stop"
I'd say to no one in particular
Pushing past
Hurrying the curious noses of my two babies
Urgently moving,
"Just keep moving"

But today as my friend called again,
Tapping on my shoulder like she always does
I sat
And I felt the warmth of the sun shine on my face
Kissing me in gratitude
For stopping by
Looking up I saw the clear blue sky
Shine 'round what's left of the leaves,
Shimmering in brilliant shades of yellow
And I heard the crunch of fallen sister leaves,
Brown and dried, rustling under nearby paws
I felt the gentle tug of two leashes on my wrist
Trying to pull me on,
And that fearful voice in my head kept whispering,
"Just keep moving"

But I stayed a bit longer
Soaking up the goodness of the light filled gap.
Realizing by rushing past to numb
Grief and fear and pain
I had misplaced my gap of stillness
To feel
Joy and light and peace